


Desperate For You

by dovingbird



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Making Love, Polyamory, Semi-Public Sex, roleplaying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 11:46:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16853422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovingbird/pseuds/dovingbird
Summary: It had never been serious – they were both too busy, and Lindsay had a whole husband to give her attention too – but it had been nice all the same. Ryan was happy with exactly what they had, just friends with benefits who cared deeply but didn’t have time for titles.He’d been happy with it until it tapered off.~~~When Lindsay invites Ryan to reignite their old friends with benefits relationship with roleplaying a first meeting at a hotel bar, he immediately agrees - but the likelihood of him keeping it casual when he's missed her so desperately is slim to none.





	Desperate For You

_”Do you ever miss it?”_

_”Miss what?”_

_”When it was simpler. When we had more time.”_

The conversation played freely in Ryan’s mind as he climbed out of his car and adjusted the sports coat he wore. He had little reason to dress nicely anymore, given the status of his job, and a suit had been out of the question...but he liked to believe he was a gentleman. He liked to believe that he knew when he should look just a little nicer than he usually might in the office.

Besides. He’d missed this. Missed _her._

_”I see you every day, Ryan.”_

_”I know, but it’s...it’s not really the same, is it? Or am I just being overdramatic?"_

_”No, I know what you mean. And I miss it too. I miss getting to sit next to you.”_

_”Yeah.”_

Things had changed. They’d gotten busy, that was all. It had been _years_ since they got to see each other every morning, sharing a desk and bantering. Years since getting to see her smile had been the second biggest thing to bring him to work during the hard days – money being first. He’d never really been able to make her the first thing. Not when she had been married.

Things had changed, of course. Lindsay was irrepressible like that. Subtle glances turned to outright flirting, and he always told himself not to respond, but...but he had. What kind of man would he be if he hadn’t? Even the ever present threat of Michael’s fury hadn’t been enough to stop him – not even when he’d situate himself on the couch in that tiny office to record and would lock eyes with him and wonder why Michael was giving him that knowing smile.

Lindsay had eventually said that she was interested. That she and Michael were open. That she’d been trying to feel Ryan out for months, to see if a guy like him might ever be interested in a girl like her.

He hadn’t liked how she said that – like he was still a model and she was just some girl in the background. Like she wasn’t the sun itself.

He’d answered with a kiss.

It had never been serious – they were both too busy, and Lindsay had a whole husband to give her attention too – but it had been nice all the same. Ryan was happy with exactly what they had, just friends with benefits who cared deeply but didn’t have time for titles.

He’d been happy with it until it tapered off.

Life happened. People drifted. It wasn’t that the chemistry had died or that they’d decided to stop touching, it just...happened. One day Ryan looked up and realized he hadn’t stolen a kiss from Lindsay in a month. Then two months. Then three.

_”Do you ever just wanna go back and remember what it was like when we’d kiss in the supply closet or come up with dumb excuses about why you were riding home with me from work that day?”_

_”It was nice, wasn’t it?”_

_”More than nice.”_

_”Then why don’t we do it?”_

_”What?”_

_”Let’s go back, Ryan. Back to the first time we ever met.”_

Lindsay had been beaming when she said it. As seemed to happen every day, she and Michael had arrived in the parking lot at the exact same time that Ryan did, and, as just as often, Michael had walked on ahead and Lindsay had lingered to wait for Ryan to get out of the car.

He’d never really realized that she was waiting for him because she missed him too, but...now it made sense.

_”When? Tonight?”_

_”Tomorrow, Ryan, please. A lady has to plan.”_

_”Okay, uh...where?”_

_”I’ll text you.”_

And she had. An hour before he’d left, she’d sent him the address of a lovely hotel in Austin that Ryan knew absolutely nothing about. She’d asked him to meet her in the bar, and he had dressed himself a little anxiously, going to his rarely used button-downs and the jeans that fit him tighter than the rest. A decent pair of shoes that didn’t look like he worked in a restaurant. He’d even fiddled extra long with his hair – and now he worried he’d look like a chump. Maybe she was just in pants and a t-shirt.

He entered the lobby, and the young woman behind the desk smiled at him as he approached and spoke. “Excuse me, I’m looking for the bar?”

She looked him up and down with a grin. “Meeting someone?”

Ryan almost agreed, if only to head her flirting off at the pass – but then he paused. This was their first time meeting all over again, after all, and he didn’t want to spoil the spirit. “Nah, just looking for a drink before I check in.”

“Of course.” She inclined her head and gestured toward an adjacent restaurant, quiet and beautifully decorated. “Right through there, sir. I hope you enjoy.”

“I will.” He smiled back at her in thanks before he departed.

Ryan was a grown man, and there was absolutely no reason that just walking toward the dining area should make him as nervous as he did. Tingles exploded right under his skin. Goosebumps rose on a chill from the first hints of an anxious sweat. He chewed on his bottom lip, then forced himself to stop with a snort. He was acting like a teenager going to prom for the first time without a date.

Lindsay always made him nervous. Just something about her smile and the way her eyes sparkled with mischief turned Ryan into a little boy with a crush on a beautiful older woman.

_Can you just try to be cool for five seconds, Haywood?_

That was totally possible. Easy, even. He was an actor. He put on a role every time cameras started rolling in the offices. Every livestream, every panel, every video – it was simple. He was the innocently bumbling master of chaos. He just had to put on that persona here as well.

He was confident up until he saw the woman in the red dress at the bar.

_Holy shit._ Ryan stopped in his tracks, tracing the luscious curves that filled out the knee-length silky gown to utter perfection. Her hair was gathered up at the nape of her neck, pinned high with sparkly clips that caught the low lighting of the restaurant impeccably. Her milky skin contrasted beautifully against the shade of her dress.

Ryan became the awkward teenager again – and that was before he even saw her face.

He forced himself to keep walking in shoes that felt clunky and thick as he tilted his head to the side, leaning forward an inch to catch her profile. Sleek lipstick matched the color of her gown, and smoky eyes complemented her long lashes.

She looked at him. She smiled, and his heart pounded out of his chest.

“Evening.” But the voice was the same. Though she looked like a classy starlet, the familiarity of her tone dragged Ryan back down to earth before he could kiss the stars, keeping him grounded in a way he was thankful for.

“Hey.” He grinned back as he stopped at the stool beside her. “Is this seat taken?”

“Not yet.” She picked up her drink – a dark shade, perhaps a whiskey mix – and sipped it through the thin cocktail straw. “Are you interested in a little company?”

“I might be.” Ryan sat down, and the second his weight was off his feet he was grateful. With the way she looked at him, he thought he might pass out at any moment from the blood rushing to his cheeks so suddenly. “If it’s not gonna bother you.”

“Nah. I’d like it. The bar’s quiet tonight.”

Ryan looked at the bartender, giving a little wave to get their attention, then looked back at her while he waited. “You come here often?”

Silence. She smirked, eyelashes fluttering. “Well, I haven’t heard that line in about ten years.”

“Listen.” Ryan laughed, and the high, reedy sound of it betrayed his nerves all the more easily. “I didn’t even mean to use a line, but-”

“But you’re nervous. I hear it.” Her teeth glistened in the light; she was incorrigible. “Lucky for you, I like it. Lindsay, by the way.”

“Ryan.” He offered a hand. “Nice to meet you.”

When Lindsay took his hand, he lifted it to his mouth, pressing a warm kiss to her knuckles, and the confidence she wore melted slightly in the face of stunned pleasure. She chuckled as he thumbed over the back of her hand, but made no move to pull away. “Pleasure’s mine.”

There it was. The bloom in his gut. The ever present warmth that being around Lindsay stoked – that had been stoked for years, actually. He’d been a bachelor for what felt like an eternity. He’d played games with people in college – on and off again relationships, pushing at boundaries to see how long they would stand up before they came crashing down. He’d never imagined someone would catch his eye and hold it for so long.

For the first time, Ryan felt the utter regret that he’d never pursued something serious with Lindsay – but why would he even ask? Where the hell could they even go?

She still wore her wedding ring, that beautiful jewel that his lips had moved over when he kissed her skin. It was a reminder that, even tonight, this could only be casual. Just a one time experience before they dropped into busy lives again that only featured each other for a few hours at work.

It would be better that way, he tried to tell himself, even as he finally let her hand go and turned to the bartender to order a Diet Coke. Some things just weren’t meant to be serious.

“So what do you do, Ryan?”

He paused. How far were they taking the little charade tonight? He looked at her, and when she only grinned at him he figured he might as well stretch the truth. “I’m an actor, actually. Just passing through town for a few days on a shoot.”

“Oh, really?” Her eyes lit up in amusement. “How many more days are you here?”

“This is the last night, actually.” He heaved a sigh. “It’s a beautiful city you’ve got here. I’ll have to come back sometime for a longer visit. What about you, Lindsay? What do you do?”

“Modeling, mostly.”

That was interesting. “Oh?”

“Mm-hmm! Typically lingerie. I do a little work at conventions as well.”

The equally incorrigible smile of Meg burst in front of Ryan’s mind’s eye, and he couldn’t help but laugh again, looking down and trying to collect himself.

Lindsay lightly kicked his shin. “What’s that for? Are you gonna say you don’t believe me?”

“What? No!” He looked up again quickly. “No, someone as stunning as you? I wouldn’t question it. I just didn’t realize how nice it would feel to meet someone else in the business.”

Her smirk hadn’t vanished, not even slightly. She tilted her head to the side, a few stray strands of hair falling around her cheeks. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

“I don’t know, just...sometimes you have to wear a mask around people, if they’re not in the entertainment business like you are. They never really understand the kind of life you lead. Does that make sense?”

Lindsay’s gaze softened. “...perfect sense.” She sipped her drink again, her other arm resting on the bar just close enough to his own that his cells lit up, hypersensitive, aching to feel the brush of her skin. “It’s nice to meet someone who just...gets it. Someone you don’t have to try that hard around.”

“Yeah.”

Suddenly Ryan realized they weren’t fully in character here. Lindsay was right. She was someone he’d never had to try to hide himself around, whether they were on camera or off. It was half the reason he’d never messed around with dating these past few years – he was never sure who was going to recognize him and what they were going to expect from him. He hadn’t wanted to commit himself to something if it was going to get himself hurt when they found out they didn’t like the _real_ him – just the person he portrayed on camera.

There were similarities. Of course there were. But there were differences too. On camera, Ryan had to be constantly on the ball and entertaining. He never had a bad moment. He never rested or relaxed. He was always funny and pleasant and appealing.

Real life wasn’t like that. Real life got messy sometimes. There were fights and misunderstandings and the knowledge that eventually the ease would run out.

He didn’t have to worry about that with Lindsay. She got it, just like he did. And that was a relief.

“But sometimes it’s nice not to have to think that hard, isn’t it?” Lindsay asked, pulling him from his thoughts. “Like…just being able to be casual with someone because they already kind of know who you are from your persona.”

“Maybe. But it’s like work.” As Ryan’s drink was dropped off, he picked it up, watching the bubbles pop one after the other on the surface. “Always worrying about where it’s going to go, what’s going to happen, what they’re going to say-”

“Do you always think this hard?”

Ryan chuckled. “Maybe.” He sipped his drink as he glanced back at her.

Lindsay beamed, taking a drink of her own, and when she put the glass back down she shifted. Her arm brushed his, and his body lit up, exploding with firecrackers. “Do you want me to make it easy so you stop thinking too much?”

“God, would you?” He grinned and turned to face her a little more, turning his hand over on instinct – waiting for her to put hers in his.

She didn’t. But she did quirk a brow, that beautiful spark of mischief coming into her gaze. “I’m looking for company. Someone to make me think a little less and feel a little more.”

Fire roared in his veins, licking him up until he burned ferociously. Lindsay played coy games. She let Ryan take the lead. She never really took it for herself.

“So, if you want...you don’t have to think at all tonight, huh? What do you say?”

Ryan opened his mouth, then closed it again. He’d never be this brazen with an actual stranger, but here they were both playing a role – she was the woman making a move, and he was the man just trying to keep up. “I don’t know if _mindless_ sex is the most exciting kind,” he murmured.

Lindsay laughed. “It will be once I suck your brain out through your dick.”

So this was happening. Things had gone from zero to one hundred _extremely_ quickly, and, believe it or not, he was completely on board. Fuck acting. If he couldn’t kiss her, he was going to be miserable. He pulled out his card and held it up to the bartender, lifting his brows as he drained the rest of his soda. As he signed the receipt with an impressive tip, Lindsay slid off her seat and touched the small of his back.

His pen jolted, leaving the messiest signature he’d ever managed behind.

“I have a room upstairs.” She leaned close to say those words, her breath tickling over his neck, and Ryan sucked in a shaky gasp as he stood up, fumbling to put his card back in his wallet. “Hey. Relax, big shot, we’re not in a hurry here.”

“Not a chance.” He met her eyes, blue on blue, and her lips twitched as she tried to hold back her smile. “Have you even seen yourself? You’re stunning. I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”

Lindsay laughed. As she moved around him, her fingers just grazed the curve of his ass through his pants, and Ryan jumped before he moved after her.

Lindsay moved a little awkwardly in her heels, but it was enough reason for Ryan to stare at her rear as he walked just behind her for a few steps until he caught up. He took her arm, lacing it with his to give her more stability, and she smiled up at him.

Her eyes sparked when the edge of his knuckles brushed lightly over her breast with each step they took.

As they stepped into the elevator – alone, thank God – Ryan leaned to kiss her, but Lindsay simply turned away, lining her back with his chest as she pressed the number of her floor. _Twelve._ Quite a ways to go. He settled in for a long thirty seconds without kissing, but the second her ass brushed over his crotch his heart took off, hammering.

Her hands gently cupped his. “Excited already?” she teased, swaying her hips from side to side. It was a horrendous tease – just the edge of his erection getting stimulation, and nothing substantial – and Ryan rested his head on the wall behind him with a quiet groan. And then her hands...guided his. The shape of her breasts filled his palms, and he choked, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Floor four, Ryan,” Lindsay sang out, and his fingers immediately moved until they found the peak of her nipples through the silky fabric. “Yeah...”

He fixated on her quiet sighs of pleasure, tunnel vision zeroing in on the feel of her in his hands. Was she not wearing a bra? Had she planned all of this? _What a little shit._ The thought made his lips quirk as he let his thumbs quest for the edge of the fabric, where the silk met soft, warm skin.

“Ryan...”

“Mm?” He came to a stop, thumb loosely linked around the fabric, waiting for dissent, permission, _anything._

After a moment of silence, where the elevator dinged to the eighth floor – four more to go – Lindsay let his hands go, and he peeled back the fabric, letting her breasts fall into his hands.

This was ridiculous – he didn’t have time for this at all – but Ryan was so calculated and honed with a schedule planned down to the second every damn day that there was a sense of _excitement_ burning through him at knowing he had only a precious few seconds to tweak her nipples between his fingers while he nipped at the back of her neck. She grabbed his hip with one hand for stability, the other slamming into the wall next to them.

In a blissful moment, her sighs turned to _moans,_ filling the air and making Ryan so hard that he ached.

The elevator dinged, coming to a stop, and Ryan whipped around, putting his back to the door to block view of her as he seamlessly slid Lindsay’s dress back into place. As the door opened, he caught her gaze – her flushed cheeks and her wide pupils – before he backed away, turning.

Someone boarded the elevator with a smile, completely unaware, and Ryan grabbed Lindsay’s hand and guided her along, his heart pounding.

“Which room?” he asked. Suddenly he’d taken the lead, with Lindsay being fuzzy-headed behind him.

“1217.” The number came out like a whisper, and when he looked over his shoulder he saw how she was slowly coming back into focus. Her glossy lips, still untouched, tempted him beyond belief – he couldn’t wait to smear the color and kiss her until her mouth was swollen.

When he stopped in front of the door to her room, Lindsay fumbled for her key card, and he watched as she took a deep breath, rested her forehead on the cool wood, then took a step back to look at him when she’d collected herself. “So you’re adventurous.”

The little tease on her voice – that sweet taste of Lindsay that always made him stare at her as she moved around a room while filming, her attitude – made him chuckle. “Are you disappointed?”

“Not remotely.” She finally opened the door and snagged him by his belt loop, pulling him in dick first. He laughed harder.

The second the door shut, Lindsay kissed him, and he melted against her, so intoxicated by how _easy_ it was to fall into the rhythm of kissing even after so long of not doing it. He let her take the lead, tilting his head to match hers, his tongue staying tucked in his own mouth when she seemed focused on only the ebb and flow of their lips together – he knew better than to try and take control in the beginning.

She’d let him know what she wanted him to do later.

Her hands coaxed his shirt out of his waistband, and he helped her, fingers flying down his buttons at a breakneck pace.

“How adventurous, exactly?” Lindsay breathed as she pulled his shirt open and ripped it and his coat both down his arms.

_Shit._ Ryan licked his lips, tasting her gloss. “Uh...depends on what you have in mind.”

She smirked up at him as she worked at his undershirt next, whipping it over his head and throwing it over her shoulder. “We’ve got a balcony.”

_Oh._

“A balcony with a nice little reclining chair for sunbathing, like on a beach.”

Ryan’s gaze flicked to the balcony just beyond. Count on Lindsay to completely ignore the fully functional bed for something even more tantalizing.

“It’s late. I bet almost everyone else is in bed. If we kept the balcony light off, no one would see us.”

“Oh, fuck,” Ryan closed his eyes for only a second. Anything to keep his cock from twitching again.

“Think you could keep quiet for me, actor boy?” Small fingers brushed through the trail of hair leading beneath his belt, stirring and teasing, and he shivered.

“For you?” He held her gaze. “Anything.”

Something shifted in her gaze – surprise, followed by warmth. She read into his tone. She understood. And, though he knew he should want to, Ryan didn’t even try to take it back.

Okay. So he was besotted. So he ached for her and wished he could have her in his bed some nights. Whatever. He already knew that, and nothing had changed. When she cupped his cheek, he felt the band of her wedding ring on his skin.

But she wasn’t looking away. Even in the midst of him tripping over his words like that. And he wasn’t really sure what that meant.

“Okay.” Her voice was soft and tentative, but not...put off. Just present. Aware and in the moment. She took his hand again, but this time she interlaced their fingers, walking backward through the room with a certain amount of grace until her heels wobbled and the moment broke. She chuckled and kicked them away. “Grab a condom, would you?”

The box on the dresser was unopened – their favorite brand to use together. Apparently she and Michael used something different. It was a tiny thing, but it lit another flame in Ryan’s chest, knowing that this was something that she and Ryan were sharing privately. Silly, but...it made him happy. He ripped the box open gracelessly, making her laugh behind him as condoms showered onto the bed, and then he picked one up and waggled his eyebrows at her as he toed his own shoes off.

Lindsay touched him, then, her hands warm on his chest. The switch had flipped from focused intensity to slow, deliberate contact, and Ryan dropped his hands to his side, letting out quiet sounds as he watched her painted nails move over his skin – ticklishly soft, then leaving red marks as she dragged by.

How was it possible to want someone this much without just...combusting?

“I’m gonna ride you on the balcony,” she said softly, her voice thick with need. “Under the stars. You’re probably gonna get a mosquito bite on your dick.”

Ryan laughed. “Sexy.”

“You know it.” She led him there, only in his pants and socks, and opened the sliding door, gesturing to the lounge chair. He sank down onto it and looked up at her, the warm glow of the lights inside illuminating her in her dress, the curves of her gorgeous body so fully on display that his fingers itched to touch her in turn.

After she shut the door, she straddled his thighs, then lifted the hem of her dress slowly – coyly – so that his eyes were glued to her for aching seconds until, little by little, she revealed the soft thatch of hair between her legs, no panties to be seen.

“Minx,” he whispered, and she beamed at him, obviously far too proud of herself. The peek vanished as she dropped her dress, and he whined, starting to sit up and reach before she thudded him back down with two small hands on his bare chest.

“Not yet.” She winked, then went for his belt.

It was madness, laying here feeling like if she even slightly grazed his hardness, he might come. He dug his teeth into his bottom lip, running through statistics about every computer in their office as she worked his pants open, then tugged them and his briefs down little by little until he sprang free.

“Mmm...big boy.”

He choked on a laugh. “Lindsay.”

“What?” She chuckled too as she plucked the condom from his hand and opened it. “Looks like you’ve been hard all night, Ryan. Were you _planning_ this?” They were back to the act, then, where he was the flustered actor and she was the dynamite model who set out to seduce him. “Or does it just get you hard to tease a girl up in the elevator?”

He moaned, arching his hips, inviting her to touch him. “I would’ve fucked you in there, if you wanted.”

“Yeah?” She couldn’t quite hide her gasp. “Maybe next time, huh?”

_Fuck._

As she slid the condom over his shaft, pinching the tip to keep it closed, his heart pounded in his ears, desperate and eager for anything she’d give him. Her skirt tickled his legs as she slid forward, and then he felt the slickness of her folds as she cupped him, dragging him through her wetness like she had all the time in the world.

“Lindsay...”

“What, Ryan?” She tilted her head to the side, guiding him to her entrance – and then away again, running the tip of his cock over her clit with a quiet sigh.

“Lindsay, _please,_ ” he whispered.

“Mmm...” She grinned. “You sound so sweet when you beg.”

A slow, aching tease wasn’t what Ryan expected when he came here tonight. He gritted his teeth and gripped the edge of the chair as he held his hips down, feeling how she took him in a centimeter – and then moved off again. Down a little further each time. The chair squeaked quietly under their weight, not completely steady, but he had the distinct feeling that if he grabbed her hips or thighs at all until she was ready that she’d end the game completely and laugh as he whined.

She took him in just deep enough to clench around the head of his cock, and he whimpered, completely lost to her.

“Quiet, Ryan.” Her whisper came through the darkness, tickling his ears, and he held his breath, every muscle in his neck going tight.

Behind his closed eyes, he heard the way she breathed raggedly as she rocked back and forth. Felt the incomprehensible pleasure in his veins. Smelled the faint perfume she wore. Tasted her even still on his lips.

_I missed this so bad._

Finally, her hips met his, her slickness dripping on his skin, and he opened his eyes and looked up at her through the faint light. He caught her off guard. Her smile was fond, and her eyes were glossy, and her skin was flushed, and she looked every little bit like she looked when she stared at Michael across the room when he was doing something sweet.

It took him by surprise too, so much so that he lifted a hand and thumbed over her cheek, caught in a sense of wonder.

Lindsay turned her head and kissed his palm, her eyelashes fluttering, and then she began to ride him in earnest.

“Fuck, Lindsay,” he whispered, hands finally sliding to her hips and squeezing. Her stunning body shook with each impact she made on his hips, making him want to run his fingers over ever part of her, and the tightness of her thighs squeezing around his waist whispered of how strong she was becoming. Every time she reached a new goal in her workouts she sent him a silly flexing sweaty selfie, and he’d saved all of them, so _enamored_ with her.

He was so much farther gone than he’d thought.

“I missed this.”

It took a moment for her shaky words to reach his ears. He met her eyes, stunned. “What?”

“This. You.” She pressed her hands into his chest, holding him down, and he grunted and bit his bottom lip to try and hold it back. “I miss you every goddamn day, Ryan.”

No, he couldn’t handle this – this was fucking torture. Hearing what he’d so craved while joined with her but knowing it couldn’t _happen_ was just… “Lindsay...”

“I mean it.” She grabbed one of his arms and slid it beneath her skirt, and he immediately rose to attention, finding her clit and rubbing it just the way she liked as she gasped and squeezed his cock inside of her. “I...I want...I want this more.”

“You wanted to be casual.” It was a petty thing, having such a minor disagreement in the middle of making love on a goddamn balcony in Austin, but Ryan was too flayed open and vulnerable – he couldn’t hold his frustration back if he tried.

Lindsay breathed a chuckle. “Fuck casual, Ryan.”

_What?_

She dug her nails into the faint hairs spreading across his chest, making his abs clench. “Michael says if he sees me give you...fucking heart eyes one more time...without just kissing the shit out of you...he’s gonna fucking kiss you himself.”

His eyes flew open, an aching hope spreading through his veins. It was impossible. Michael? Wanting that for her?

Lindsay leaned down just a little closer, shifting the position of how she rode, and Ryan had the perfect view of her cocky smirk wavering for just a moment as she found the sweet spot inside of her. “Oh, fuck...”

He bucked into her, meeting her in the middle and watching how she squeezed her eyes shut in utter focus and ecstasy. “I want it,” he rasped. “I want this. I want you. I want all of you.”

She nodded quickly, hair falling out of its updo, messy and striking and gorgeous, all down her shoulders and in her face. “Don’t stop,” she pleaded.

“Not gonna.” He wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her still, his fingers rubbing at her and his hips pistoning until the slapping of their skin together couldn’t be muffled. “I’ll take anything you wanna give me, Lindsay, I-I can’t stop this again.”

She opened her eyes, her lips falling open and her lids languid, and her words came out shakily, like she could barely speak. “My heart?”

His chest cracked open, his heart reaching out toward hers. It felt impossible to feel so _aching_ and yet so fulfilled. “Please.”

Serene joy crossed her face, lighting her up from the inside out. For one sweet moment that felt like eternity, she opened herself up to him, beaming – eyes sparkling like diamonds – and he saw for the first time every single bit of love she had for him painted right there.

And he was able to watch how it shifted subtly into her being overcome, pleasure dripping off her, her hands curling slowly into fists on his skin. “Ryan?”

“Come for me, Lindsay,” he growled, and she did, letting out a sharp cry that echoed off their balcony and dragged him right over the edge with her.

Cuddling there wasn’t easy. For once, Lindsay’s famous mouth stayed shut, and one of Ryan’s arms dangled off the edge of the chair as he pet up and down her back slowly. He kept her close – their chests pressed together – as they tried to come back to reality.

It was impossible. They were floating among the stars.

“How does this work?” Ryan’s voice was spent, rough and ragged, and it made his lips quirk into a smile. “Like, if I ask you to be my girlfriend, how the hell does that work when you have a husband?”

“Hell if I know.” She painted patterns on his chest as she nuzzled his neck. “Michael printed me out a pamphlet, so I guess I’ll read that.”

A pause. “A pamphlet.”

“Mm-hmm. About nonmonogamy.”

Ryan could vividly picture Michael’s deadpan expression as he slapped a stack of papers on Lindsay’s desk with no warning just to watch her jump. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “You? Read anything Michael gives you?”

“I know, right? Weird.” The smile was audible in her voice.

It was impossible that Ryan could be able to be this happy. Absolutely incomprehensible. But here they were, dancing through the clouds together.

With her in his arms, he didn’t think he’d ever come down.


End file.
